If you were expecting your flight to be on time this morning, you probably didn’t expect a huge hold up because former NBA Sixth-Man-Of-The-Year, Jason Terry, was running around the tarmac making engine noises. “All inbound and outbound flights from LaGuardia International Airport have been grounded or rerouted,” an FAA statement read. “Please stay tuned for updates, as the situation on the ground develops: we are currently trying to capture Jason Terry, who is running around pretending to be an airplane.”
Terry, who is known primarily for his outside shooting and veteran leadership at the two-guard spot, has been frolicking around the runway for hours now. “Even at his age, he is still very elusive,” Port Authority Lt. Ben Deossie told reporters. “Still got a few years left if you want my two-cents,” he added. “But we must clarify, he is NOT an actual airplane.”
The Celtics are in New York for a pivotal Game six matchup with the Knicks and slumping Carmelo Anthony. Terry, who has a penchant for hitting big shots, followed by his trademark “airplane” celebration, is 100% convinced he is filled with passengers and bound for Palm Beach.
“We had no idea that he actually believed any of that stuff,” Celtics Coach Doc Rivers said. “I mean, I thought I was doctor for a few years there, but that was my name,” he continued. “You can understand my confusion — Jason’s just nuttier than squirrel turds.”
Teams officials are optimistic that Terry will be available for tonights game at MSG. They’ll definitely need him, as they are short at the position after Rajon Rondo went down earlier this season.
“Let’s be clear about something,” the FAA wrote on their webpage. “As far as runway conduct is concerned, Jason is doing a terrific job complying with our rules,” it said. “He’s been an exemplary pilot and should be commended for his professional handling of the long wait times due to cuts in air traffic control resources.”
“It’s just that, ya know, it’s not safe for a guy that age to be running around with his arms out, jumping, screaming “Imma plane!”, near 300 ton actual aircraft.”He is expected to give himself in any minute now, or simply run out of fuel.