Monday Night Football color commentator Jon Gruden “likes what he sees” in Kim Jong Un. “I get goosebumps watching guys like this do what they do,” Gruden said from Radio City Musical Hall before the 2013 NFL Draft. Known for his constant praise of any and all things in this plane of existence, the Super Bowl winning former coach has “never seen a talent like [Jong Un] before,” and considers him “one heckuva dictator.”
“When you see this guy, you know, bang with the other big boys, I think, man, do I wish I lived in his country,” he added, presumably in reference to the rogue state’s recent nuclear ICBM testing on the Korean Peninsula. “He’s just flat out mean, the way he gets to the quarterback.”
Kim Jong Un has come under fire by the international community for heinous human rights violations, counterfeiting foreign currency, and proliferating meth amphetamine through various organized crime groups in China. “This guy just flat out gets it done — phenomenal footwork — he looks like the best dancer I’ve ever seen out there,” the short broadcaster remarked. “Nobody rattles their saber like Kim, and I mean nobody,” he continued, while making a face that looked as if he was sucking on an MDMA soaked citrus fruit.
Gruden is currently 15 inches tall and resides in one of Jonathan Ogden’s old cleats. Here’s a video of him drawing a penis on television.