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Lazy Uncle Ron Finishes 3rd In World’s Best Uncle Competition, Again


World’s Best Uncle competition concluded this weekend, with 3rd place going to Uncle Ron. Again. “It’d be nice if I had some nieces,” Ron said off the record at the Bennigan’s wrap up party. When asked where he’ll put the trophy, Uncle Ron said he plans on “throwin’ it in the trunk,” then winking at the overweight male server, then clarifying “because that’s where I put everything.”

The 3rd place finish is widely considered a disappointment for the top seeded Unkman, who was this year’s trendy pick for World’s Best. Derailed by sinusitis, Ron never regained the momentum he had going into Christmas, where he showed his 8-year old nephew how to roll a joint with toilet paper.

No stranger to disappointment, Ron hasn’t been married/employed for longer than 4 months — yet another reason why experts had him as an outright favorite to win it this year. He also collects aluminum baseball bats and other people’s credit cards. “I just find em,” he said.

Runner up, “Gay Uncle David”, received a firm handshake and a warm skirt steak, while the winner and last years champion, Burt, got a pat on the ass and some Carnauba Wax.

Ron drives a Eagle Talon.

Photo thanks to our friends over at Corvette Forum: the internet’s online community.


About Jake O'Donnell

Creator of the sports comedy Dick Buttkiss blog https://jakeodonnel.wordpress.com/


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